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Some may want romance but not sex; others fall on the aromantic spectrum, meaning they sometimes or never feel romantic attraction.
For those who do feel romantic attraction (to men, women, or any combination of genders), that’s where online dating comes in.
“But it was the right thing to do to create an experience that worked for everyone.” Although Ok Cupid doesn’t include aromantic options or every gradation on the ace spectrum — including various combinations of romantic and sexual identities — it’s still ahead of the game when it comes to actively including ace users. It probably only matters if it comes down to their bottom line.” Tinder offers multiple gender options and allows people to select an interest in men and/or women, but that’s where the choices end.
“You have this one dating app that’s leading the way around gender identity and sexual orientation,” Cerankowski says. There are no identification or filtering options for aces, so if you want to identify as asexual or aromantic, you have to work around the app’s existing infrastructure.
According to Bumble’s head of brand, Alex Williamson el-Effendi, the app is planning to launch focus groups to research a potential new feature that would allow users to select their sexual orientations.
“We want Bumble to be a safe place for people to feel like they can date and connect with people on their own terms and feel like they’re going to be in a community that is respectful and kind and supportive,” she says.
“Users are welcome to authentically express themselves by sharing their sexuality within their Tinder bios and in messages with matches,” says a Tinder spokesperson by email.
Although the representative adds that “everyone is welcome on Tinder,” these aren’t welcoming options, especially on an app with a reputation for fostering hasty hookups rather than lasting relationships.
In November 2014, it added expansive dropdown options for gender and sexuality, including asexuality and demisexuality.
Their options are to include their orientation in their bio, message it to potential dates, or broach the subject in person.
None of these options is perfect, and all provide barriers to aces who want to meet compatible matches, asexual or not.
Faced with the limitations of mainstream dating services, some asexual people prefer to stick to ace-specific alternatives, like Asexualitic and Asexual Cupid.
It makes sense, in theory: Though many aces happily date outside the spectrum, a pool of like-minded users can be a more comfortable starting point.
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Instead of friendly conversation about shared interests, first dates often involve fielding intrusive questions about their orientations and histories, especially from those who don’t believe that their identities are “real.” “‘Are you sure?