Invalidating your feelings
What makes something better is connection.” Next week we will show you part one of the State of the Union Meeting with real life examples.
Want to gain long-lasting tools and skills to turning conflict into a catalyst for connection?
Sometimes a conflict can be averted by simply validating what your spouse has said.
Content Header .feed_item_answer_user.js-wf-loaded . Content Header .feed_item_answer_user .anon_user.logged_out . Validation is a skill that’s so very elusive to many of us.To do this, practice the art of non-defensive listening and focus on being curious about your partner’s feelings. When you listen for your partner’s feelings with your whole being, it becomes a lot easier to understand their perspective. To attune to your partner requires the ability to experience their feelings on such a level that that you almost become your partner.“Empathy lies in our ability to be [fully] present.” – Marshall Rosenberg 2. It’s easy to get swept away in the facts of what happened during the heat of a conflict discussion. They argue over who is “right,” and yet both views are valid. I related to the visual Brené Brown paints of a hurt partner being down in a dark hole, because I know when I am feeling sad or upset, I feel like I’m alone in a pit of pain. Empathy is so deeply connecting that it’s physical.
Search for invalidating your feelings:
This will make it easier for you to empathize with their experience. When doing this, express that you respect your partner’s perspectives and feelings as natural and valid, even if they’re different from your own.