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You know the ones: ‘Looking to leave the single market before the UK does.’ ‘I’ve got plenty of suits so I make a great 1 for weddings.’ ‘“Five stars!

” – my mum.’ You might think you’re coming across as a great wit, but really all you’re saying is ‘I’m so boring I had to google what to put in my dating app bio.’ Excuses about online dating ‘Can’t believe I’m on here.’ It’s nearly 2020, love, we’re all on here.

It all started when she was writing a guide to dating app Bumble for a men’s lifestyle site and her editor asked her to take screenshots of some of the best examples of profiles she came across. One of the most grievous mistakes, Holden adds, is what she calls the ‘wish list’ – when people rattle off a shopping list of traits their prospective match should or shouldn’t have. ‘Some women do this too,’ she says, ‘but it does seem to be more of a male trend, where they say, “I don’t like girls who do duck face,” or, “I don’t like girls who use the Snapchat dog filter,” or, “I’m not into women who wear too much make-up.”’ Entitled much?You don’t really need to describe your personality – that’s more easily done through actions than words – but if you want to give it a shot, stick to a maximum of two or three adjectives.A long list of character traits can easily be construed as just one: self-obsessed. Your hobbies and interests How you spend your time says a lot more about you than any self-description could.According to the Office for National Statistics, the average height for a man in the UK is five foot nine – so unless tall men are somehow more predisposed to use dating apps than the rest of the population, a lot of people are being rather liberal with the tape measure.In the US, OKCupid compared people’s heights on their profiles to height distribution across the country, and concluded that both men and women exaggerate by about two inches.

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Victoria Turk is a senior editor at WIRED, where she edits the culture section of the print magazine, leads video strategy, and writes regularly for print and web.

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