Dating a bisexual man
A while back, I was casually scrolling through Twitter on my company-mandated 10-minute break at my second job.While I was sitting there, minding my own business, just trying to see what was new with Kerry Washington, I came across some disturbing statistics.Chris Donaghue, the co-host of the show, was actually surprised by her response.That’s why he pried a little as to why she wouldn't be open to dating bi men.Explanation one: Society is steeped in internalized homophobia and masculine ideals, and we create rules for ourselves and the people in our lives accordingly.We admit that a woman being with another woman is fine, but get weirded out by a man being with another man. Because of the twisted belief that a man being with another man is somehow -- hilariously -- "unmanly." And since we've all heard insane rules about what it is to "be a man," how boys need to "man up," and how straight/bi women should only want "real, manly men" or "guys' guys," anything that is considered "unmanly" is a huge no-no. I’ve recently noticed that the question, “Are there women who are interested or willing to date bisexual men? Literally, I found this question in three different groups and on one friends Facebook wall.
And I love that she’s been open about her previous sexual and romantic partners, which have consisted of both men and women.Fun tidbit: This is why when bisexuals are asked who is faced with more challenges and stigma, bisexual men or bisexual women, a lot of us will say bisexual men.(Examples: 1, 2) Explanation two: The false and tired belief that being with someone who is bi/pansexual/omnisexual means that they will cheat on you or that you have more competition. D., director of the Sex & Gender Lab at Cornell University was quoted in the article as saying that the report of women not wanting to have sex with a man who'd been with other men suggested "that these women hold on to the view that while women occupy a wide spectrum of sexuality, men are either gay or straight." So women are allowed to be bisexual, or at least more sexually fluid, but men are not? To any woman who has had/does have feelings for a man who has had sex with other men: Turning down someone because of perfectly valid sexual preferences and/or behaviors is ridiculous. A tweet from my pal Nicole Kristal over at #Still Bisexual, told me that Upon first sight, I was shocked and saddened by this information. It goes along with that strange belief that somehow it's more acceptable for women to be sexually fluid than men.However, after composing the perfect response to send to Nicole, I thought more about it and realized something pretty terrible -- I wasn't surprised. Seething, and with my protective instincts raised for my bisexual brethren, I went back to work and asked my best work friend, (a straight woman) if she would date a bisexual man.
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Hiding the truth keeps us separate from the ones who are waiting to love us.