Clean dating jokes one liners

There are a lot of men competing for not very many women (bots don't count), so if you're a guy, you're going to want to say something suave and creative right off the bat to get her attention. If you don't have one, there are a few unorthodox suggestions on this list that you might want to use. " There's no guarantee that you'll get dates thanks to these lines, but we can't rule it out, either.

Even though they sound a bit "out there," they actually worked!

She was wearing massive gloves.” Alun Cochrane (2015) “As a kid I was made to walk the plank.

We couldn’t afford a dog.” Gary Delaney (2010) “Money can’t buy you happiness?

So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger.” Nick Hall (2015) “I’ve decided to stop masturbating, since then I’ve not really felt myself.” Tom Toal (2015) “I always thought Trojan was a bad name for a condom brand because of course the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls.” Jonny Lennard (2014) “My wife told me: ‘Sex is better on holiday.’ That wasn’t a nice postcard to receive.” Joe Bor (2014) “The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

I hear you ask.” Jordan Brookes (2016) “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.” Will Marsh (2012) “I bought myself some glasses.

My observational comedy improved.” Sara Pascoe (2014) “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.” Rob Beckett (2012) “Most of my life is spent avoiding conflict.

Many comedians use funny one liners as apart of their act, and believe it or not it’s not that easy to master. You’re either on a roll or you’re taking sh*t from some as*hole. Ain’t it funny how the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind your car. I’ll change my Facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this. You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn’t tried wiping their but with an IPad.

So if you’re ready for a good laugh check out these one liners hand-picked by us!

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After ten more long minutes her phone finally buzzed.

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