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My vagina was — by way of Audrey II in — constantly shouting "Feed me! If we're getting sexually harassed, is it because we're wearing the wrong skirt? Feminism can only work if men are feminists, too — because the only indice by which feminism will succeed is based on how many people believe in it, support it, and want it to happen. There's no point in only 27 per cent of people believing in equality because the maths, very obviously, show that you won't be equal if 73 per cent of people think you're not. hide the feminism in a special secret place, and only let certain people have access to it.
And if women talk 25–50 per cent of the time, they're seen as "dominating the conversation". We've seen our biggest female role-models and icons shamed in the press, over and over: computers hacked and nude pictures released; sex-tapes released.
You've noted that while society's happy for a famous man to age, and become distinguished, and generally wander around looking like a fucking wizard, the women generally still seem to be 20 years younger, and standing there on the cover of magazines, all like, "Oh! You've watched the whole Caitlyn Jenner trans thing unfold and gone, "You know what — this all seems fair enough. You like women being equal to men — which is all that feminism means. Because I am a chronic over-sharer, and incapable of keeping secrets. They both have that slight implication of, "I'm now going to launch into a speech that's basically about what a great person I am". " — until they feel as normal as saying "pina colada", or "Michael Fassbender". You are unlikely to get custody of your kids, and are three times more likely to commit suicide. Men, imagine if, some time around your 12th birthday, some manner of viscous liquid — let's say gravy — suddenly appeared in your pants, in the middle of a maths lesson. We're not dealing with this in a special, noble lady-way.
You know babies come out of vaginas and it fucking stings, and that the vaginas are having a hard time anyway, what with all the waxing they get. You've called Donald Trump "a twat" for his sexist comments about a female news anchor being on her period. It's the 21st century and you are, most assuredly, not a dick. So, what I am going to do, instead, is tell you 12 things about women that women are usually too embarrassed to tell you themselves. It's the same as when you say the word "environment". Because remember that patriarchy's bumming you as hard as it's bumming us. You, meanwhile, are unable to talk about your feelings lest you get punched in the nuts by "a lad" telling you not to be "a bender". Being a woman doesn't make "being a woman" any easier. It's like having an exploding, insane blood-bag of pain up in your business end — nothing really prepares you for when it all kicks off. The next, you're suddenly having to wedge a tiny Barbie mattress in your knickers, crying while you watch , and eating Nurofen Plus like they're Tic Tacs. Have you ever tried to scrub blood out of a Premier Inn sheet at 6am, using just travel shampoo and your toothbrush? Likewise, imagine accidentally getting pregnant at 16, then having to run past a barrage of anti-abortion protestors outside your local clinic, all holding up pictures of dead foetuses.
The advertiser-friendly version of feminism has a very simple solution: more female elites.
Increasingly, the rhetoric of intersectionality has also been incorporated into this project.